猩氏失望 SLK55AMG
本文核心词：Z4,奔驰,大猩猩,Jeremy Clarkson,GearKnobs字幕组,SLK55AMG
The Clarkson review: Mercedes-Benz SLK 55 AMG (2012)
I know about your frilly knickers, Butch
愣头青，我对你的拳脚了如指掌
Ever since it minced into the marketplace 16 years ago, Mercedes’ little SLK has been the world’s only transgender car. Even though it was born with an Adam’s apple, dressed in shorts and trained to use the urinals, it has always been as girlie as a pink bedroom full of soft toys.
自从该车16年前首秀起，SLK就成为了全球仅有的变性专车。尽管这车自带喉结，穿着短裤，试图站着尿尿，也依旧一直有粉色卧室毛绒玩具级的娘度
If I’d been running Mercedes-Benz, I’d have been quite pleased about this. I’d have accepted that the car was a ladyboy and changed its name immediately to the Fluffy Rabbit or EL James. I’d have offered it in a range of pastel colours and employed Stella McCartney to design a range of interior fabrics.
要是我负责MB公司，我会对此非常满意。我接受该车男扮女装的属性，并改名毛毛兔或者E L James（五十度系列小说作者）我要预定蜡笔配色并让时装设计师Stella McCartney负责内饰装扮
But no. Mercedes could not accept that its child was a bit light in its loafers. So as it grew, the company fitted it with a massive V8 engine and changed its exhaust note from Barbra Streisand to Ted Nugent. This was unwise and unfair — like forcing Freddie Mercury to get a job as a scaffolder.
但非也。MB不能接受旗下作品游手好闲。于是时过境迁，MB塞入一款大V8并将排气声浪从Barbra Streisand（美国歌手）变为Ted Nugent（美国吉他手）这点既不明智也不公平—如同让Freddie Mercury（皇后乐队主唱）当脚手架工人
Undaunted, Mercedes called the new car the SLK 55 AMG and sent it out into the world with a simple message. “Now look. We’ve given you an enormous penis. Go and use it.” It certainly wooed me, because I bought one. Of course, my colleagues thought I’d taken leave of my senses and laughed openly in my face. So did all the nation’s van drivers, and in every petrol station people would point and suggest loudly that my salon must be doing well. The codpiece front and the baritone rear fooled nobody.
MB无畏地给新款定名SLK55 AMG并直接地表示—看着，你现在蛋大包天了，试着来一发吧。自然吸引了我，因为我入手了一台。当然，鼹鼠和船长认为我丧失了理智并当面嘲笑我。还有货车司机以及加油站那些以为我开画展的家伙。车头的褶皱和男中音级的车尾唬不了人
But I didn’t care because I like small cars. I like convertibles. And I like big engines. And the SLK was the only car on the market that met all three of those requirements — and a few more besides. It had an automatic gearbox, and though it was fast and hard and brutal, it came with all the usual Mercedes refinements including a DVD player, a TV, electric seats, cruise control and so on. It was a doddle in town, brilliant on a sunny day, easy to park, as fast as a comet, good- looking, exciting, noisy and enormous fun. Who cared that it enjoyed musicals and went to bed at night in its sister’s knickers? I even ordered mine in black.
但我并不在意，我喜欢小车，也喜欢敞篷，更喜欢大引擎。而SLK55 AMG算是市面上仅有的全面符合要求的货色—除了某些奇葩。自带自动变速箱，虽然这车迅猛无比，还是有MB常规的内饰—DVD机 TV 电动座椅 巡航以及一堆玩意儿。在市内开起来非常轻松，天朗气清时无比出色，停车方便，速度堪比彗星，颜值极高，摄人心魄，笙箫震天而且乐趣无穷。谁管这车爱听音乐剧并偷穿妹妹的裤子呢？我甚至入手了台纯黑的
Mercedes, though, was still not satisfied. It knew that when it wasn’t looking, its scaffolder was endlessly watching the shower scene from Top Gun, so with its replacement the company has gone mental. The car has the haunches of a hyena, the snout of a racer, flaps, ducts and claws. It’s a low-profile, full-fat, high-octane he-man. I’m surprised the advertising slogan isn’t: “Are you a woman? Well, you can eff off.”
MB则不满足。认为颜值不够高时就应该看一看壮志凌云的洗澡片段，于是新款就金属风十足。新车有鬣狗的腰线，赛车的车头，翼片 气道 爪牙一应俱全。这是个低调全脂高辛烷值的纯爷们儿货色。我对广告没有说到—女性避让，而感到惊讶
Let’s start with the engine. In essence, it’s the same 5.5-litre unit that you get in other, bigger AMG cars, only without the turbocharging. Do not think, however, that the lack of forced induction means you will be bouncing up and down in your seat when leaving the lights to try to conjure up some extra wallop. Because of new air-intake ducting, new cylinder heads and a modified valve drive, you are presented with 416 brake horsepower. That is about 60 more than you were given in the old SLK 55, and in a car this size it means the performance is very nearly insane.
首先是引擎。本质上还是其他大号AMG再就业的5.5 V8，不过涡轮下线。但别认为没有增压你就不得不在起步时为额外动力求神告祖。因为新进气道 新汽缸盖 改进的气门给了你416HP。大概比老款SLK55多60HP，而这等性能对这种车来说堪称疯狂
However, because the new engine is fitted with a feature that shuts down either two or four of the cylinders when they’re not needed, it produces only 195 carbon dioxides and should be good for more than 33mpg. The Lord giveth and then the Lord giveth even more.
然而，因为新引擎自带歇缸功能，CO2排放仅仅195而油耗则低于33MPG（7.1L/100KM）上天的恩赐源源不断
Handling? Well, now, let’s be clear on this: if you want finesse and delicacy, buy a BMW. In a straight line, an AMG car is an easy match for anything made by BMW’s M — or motor sport — p>
操控？额，先说好—如果你要精细出色的操控-BMW解君愁。直线上AMG可以轻松与M（赛车部门）打个来回。但到了弯道AMG就被甩开了。这倒不是批评。因为尽管AMG不能像M一样把握好物理定律，却更擅长让你喜笑颜开。BMW奖励你的技术，AMG奖励你的笑脸
And so it goes with the SLK. Mercedes may have fiddled with the camber and perforated the brake discs. The little convertible may have all the racing paraphernalia, but it’s still a car you have to wrestle if you want to get the most from it. It’s a car that’s happiest when it’s a little bit sideways.
于是SLK亦然。AMG可能调整了倾角以及给刹车盘打孔。这些小改动可能很赛车化，但依旧是一台你要较劲才能完全享受的货色。这车是个漂移狂
Inside, however, there’s no evidence of this at all. The gearbox is a proper auto. The radio is digital. The headrests are fitted with ducts that feed warm air to your neck. The car I drove was even equipped with a device that suggested when I might like a cup of coffee. However, while there’s one improvement over the old model — the can-of-pop-holders are no longer located in front of the heater vents — there is one step backwards. If you push the seat all the way back, the leather rubs against the rear bulkhead and squeaks every time you go over a bump. It’s very annoying.
车内则毫无这种狂暴感。变速箱是正宗的自动。收音机还是数码的。头枕有加热的气道。我的试驾车还有提醒喝咖啡系统。然而，虽然有个相比老款的进步—杯架不再位于空调风口正前方—还有个退步—如果你把座椅调到最后，真皮会和隔离墙摩擦，并在过减速带时作响。非常烦人
It sounds, then, as if this new car is much the same as the old one, albeit a bit faster and quite a lot more economical. But I’m afraid that’s not strictly accurate. Because where’s the noise? The old car crackled when you started it, roared when it was moving and ticked when it wasn’t.
听起来这车和老款差不多，虽然快了一些，油耗低了许多。但我猜这么说不准确。因为声浪呢？老款有噼拉啪啦的启动声浪配上动态时的怒吼以及趴窝时的嘀嗒
And without this soundtrack the excitement has gone. It means you never feel inclined to put your foot down. I spent my week just pottering about. At one point I found myself doing 60mph on the motorway. On the Burford road in Oxfordshire the other night I was overtaken by a Fiat 500. Really, it should come with a cattle prod and a device that tells the driver to pull over and get some bloody Red Bull down his neck. Sometimes I’d try to go a bit faster but there seemed to be little reward, and as soon as I stopped concentrating I went back into Peugeot mode.
而没了这种声浪这车也就不刺激了。意味着你不想油门到底。我上周开车闲逛。我突然意识到我在高速路的时速只有60MPH。而在牛津的Burford路还被菲亚特500超越。讲道理，这车应该配个赶牛棒顺便提醒车主来点儿红牛提神。有时我试图开快车而不得，于是我不再专心，变得像个标致司机
So we’re left with a big question. At lb54,965 the new SLK 55 costs less than I was expecting. But why pay this much for a car that doesn’t raise the hairs on the back of your neck? If you want a pottering-about, top-down cruiser, why not buy one of the much cheaper, smaller-engined versions? Because they’re for girls? Okay, then, why not buy a BMW Z4?
于是接下来就是重头戏了。54965英镑的SLK55比我预计的要便宜。但为何花这笔大价钱入手一台刺激不了你的货色呢？如果你要悠哉游哉的敞篷巡航车，为何不选择更便宜，引擎更小的版本呢？因为小SLK娘炮？那为何不入手Z4 E89呢？
This is a much underrated car. At less than lb40,000 for a twin-turbo 3-litre, it has the same hard folding roof as the Mercedes but is better looking and much less of a handful. Oh, and there’s one more thing. It’s the only car in the world that was designed by women. I like it very much.
Z4被严重低估。不到4W英镑入手一台3.0双涡轮的货色，还包括MB同款折叠硬顶，但Z4更好看，而且不那么麻烦。还有，Z4是仅有的全女性设计车辆。我非常喜欢这点
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